Start by asking each family to name its most important dishes, then choose a base menu that accommodates those priorities and your guests’ dietary needs. Keep the shortlist small enough to compare properly. Adding every suggestion makes it harder to see whether the meal works as a whole.
For a wedding in Singapore, preferences might differ over rice, spice levels, traditional dishes or dessert. You can give both families a meaningful say while keeping the final decision manageable. Here is a practical way to get there.
Ask each family for three ranked favourites
Give each family the same brief: suggest three dishes and rank them in order of importance. Ask what makes the first choice special. A dish associated with family celebrations deserves a different conversation from something a relative simply enjoyed recently.
Record each suggestion under one of three labels:
- Priority: the dish the family most wants represented.
- Preferred: something they would enjoy if the package allows it.
- Flexible: a dish they are comfortable replacing.
Collect the couple’s preferences too. Then agree who will make the final decision and nominate one person from each family to gather feedback. This keeps a large group chat from becoming an endless series of new menu requests.
Separate dietary requirements from taste preferences
Before discussing favourite dishes, write down the requirements the menu must meet. These may include halal requirements, vegetarian meals, specific food allergies or ingredients certain guests avoid.
Be precise about numbers and needs. “Some vegetarian guests” gives the caterer less to work with than “12 vegetarian meals, with no egg.” Ask those guests what they eat instead of assuming everyone follows the same restrictions.
For allergies, check ingredients and preparation arrangements directly with the caterer, including how contact with the relevant allergen will be prevented. A dish name alone cannot confirm suitability.
For a mixed guest list, ask about actual eating habits. Avoid assuming every older guest wants mild food or that everyone from one community prefers the same dishes.
Keep preferences such as milder seasoning in a separate column. This makes it easier to resolve a disagreement: essential dietary needs shape the shortlist first, while flavour preferences guide the remaining choices.
Choose a base menu before requesting changes
Compare actual packages before assembling an imaginary menu from everyone’s favourite dishes. Rasa Catering’s wedding menu selection includes Malay, Chinese eight-course, North Indian, South Indian and Middle Eastern options. Use these as starting points for the family discussion.
Look for the package that already covers the greatest number of priorities. For example, the published Malay wedding menu includes a Menu A with mutton dum briyani, beef rendang and sweet-and-sour fish. Those dishes could help you identify shared preferences before requesting additions.
Check the service format at the same time. If one family prefers a seated, sequential meal and the other wants buffet choice, settle that question early.
Treat the published menus as discussion references. Confirm current availability and whether substitutions or combinations between packages are possible before promising a dish to relatives.
Give every shortlisted dish a clear purpose
Once you have a base package, review what each dish contributes. Several favourites may fill the same role, leaving other guests with limited choice.
| Menu role | What to check |
|---|---|
| Family favourites | Each family can identify something meaningful to them. |
| Broadly acceptable main | Guests who dislike the strongest flavours have another option. |
| Vegetarian meal | Suitable guests can assemble a satisfying meal. |
| Rice or bread | The accompaniment works with the selected mains. |
| Vegetable or lighter side | The overall selection has variety in flavour and texture. |
| Dessert | The choice fits the meal and the agreed budget. |
For vegetarian possibilities, the published North Indian menu lists yellow dhal tadka and mixed vegetable jalfrezi under vegetarian mains. Ask about their suitability for your guests and availability within your chosen arrangement.
Use this review to identify gaps. It does not mean you need to add a separate dish for every preference.
Compare two complete menu proposals
Turn the discussion into two realistic options. Each should show the full meal, both families’ priority dishes, dietary arrangements and the quoted total.
For instance, if one family prioritises a rice dish and the other cares most about dessert, those preferences may fit comfortably together. If both want different chicken dishes, compare whether including both adds useful variety or displaces another main.
Ask both families to assess each proposal against the same questions:
- Does it include our most important preference?
- Can guests with the recorded dietary needs eat a complete meal?
- Is there enough choice for different spice preferences?
- Does the whole menu fit the budget and service format?
Judge fairness by whether both families feel represented. One family might choose the rice and a main, while the other chooses a starter and dessert. If a priority dish is unsuitable for several guests, discuss a separate portion or an agreed alternative with the caterer.
Keep discussion focused on these two proposals. When a new suggestion appears, ask which existing dish it would replace.
Use a tasting to resolve specific disagreements
If a tasting is available, confirm what it includes, any charge and how many people may attend. Bring the shortlist and the questions that remain unresolved.
Make feedback specific. “Too spicy” becomes more useful when someone explains that the chilli heat would prevent several guests from enjoying the dish. Ask whether seasoning can be adjusted or an accompaniment served separately, where appropriate.
Have each attendee record comments before discussing them together. Consider flavour, texture, portion practicality and how the dishes work together. This gives quieter family members space to contribute.
Agree the decision rule beforehand: once dietary needs and budget are satisfied, the couple chooses between the remaining options. A tasting should help close decisions, with changes recorded for the caterer.
Check the cost of each proposed compromise
A small menu adjustment can affect the overall quotation, so ask for the shortlisted options to be priced for the same guest count and service arrangements.
Request separate details for substitutions, additional dishes, special meals and any extra service or equipment required. Ask whether the proposal meets the package’s minimum order and whether the quoted total includes applicable taxes and charges.
If an addition exceeds the budget, return to the priority list. Consider replacing a flexible item or choosing a package that already contains more favourites. Give both families the same cost information before deciding.
Confirm one shared shortlist in writing
Send the agreed selection to both family representatives before submitting it to the caterer. Include the package, exact dish names, requested adjustments, dietary meal counts and the person authorised to approve changes.
Set a family feedback deadline ahead of the caterer’s final amendment deadline. Ask the caterer to confirm accepted changes and any agreed alternatives in writing, so everyone is working from the same menu.
When your shortlist is ready, contact Rasa Catering with your wedding date, venue, guest count and both families’ priority dishes. Request confirmation of availability and a quotation for the agreed selection. This gives the conversation a clear destination: a meal the couple can confidently approve and both families can look forward to.
Frequently Asked Questions
How many dishes should each family suggest?
Start with three ranked favourites, including one priority dish.
Should both families choose the same number of dishes?
Focus on meaningful representation rather than equal dish counts.
Can we combine different wedding menus?
Ask the caterer to confirm availability, restrictions and extra charges.
How can we accommodate different spice preferences?
Include a milder main and request separate spicy accompaniments where possible.
Who should make the final menu decision?
The couple should decide after reviewing family priorities, dietary needs and costs.